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These Pictures Show Why It's Kind Of Hard To Take Military Parades Seriously

Holly Clancy, February 8, 2018

Trump wants a huge military parade in DC because…reasons?

President Donald Trump was absolutely wowed last year when he attended France’s military parade to celebrate Bastille Day and promptly determined that it was just the sort of display the US needed.

President Donald Trump was absolutely wowed last year when he attended France's military parade to celebrate Bastille Day and promptly determined that it was just the sort of display the US needed.

Kind of an odd choice, considering everyone knows that the US has an insane amount more military hardware than any other country on Earth, but whatever.

Christophe Archambault / AFP / Getty Images

BuzzFeed News confirmed on Tuesday night that planning is underway at the Department of Defense to make Trump’s military march dreams a reality.

BuzzFeed News confirmed on Tuesday night that planning is underway at the Department of Defense to make Trump's military march dreams a reality.

Thierry Chesnot / Getty Images

It’s been a minute since the last military parade took place in Washington: a National Victory Celebration was held in 1991 after the end of the Gulf War, a little affair that cost $12 million, including $7 million in taxpayer money.

But that was a different time! The US had just won its first war after the Cold War had ended and everyone was hopped up on whatever was in the water in the early 1990s that made people think Day-Glo was a thing.

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Having been so long, it’s entirely possible the Pentagon has gotten a little rusty at planning them. You can’t just slap a few tanks on the street and call it a day.

Having been so long, it's entirely possible the Pentagon has gotten a little rusty at planning them. You can't just slap a few tanks on the street and call it a day.

These Russian T-90 tanks marking the 75th anniversary of the battle of Stalingrad are ~fine~ or whatever. But DC's streets aren't really built for tanks, so it's tough to see how they'd really work out.

Tatyana Makeyeva / Reuters

Prakash Singh / AFP / Getty Images

Ishara S. Kodikara / AFP / Getty Images

And what’s the goal of the whole thing? To project fear, like North Korea does when it rolls out the ICBMs with new and improved launchers?

And what's the goal of the whole thing? To project fear, like North Korea does when it rolls out the ICBMs with new and improved launchers?

Damir Sagolj / Reuters

To relive the glory days like Russia when it celebrates the end of World War II in Red Square every year?

To relive the glory days like Russia when it celebrates the end of World War II in Red Square every year?

Alexander Zemlianichenko / AP

To ward off a neighbor deemed to be a threat, like in Pakistan?

To ward off a neighbor deemed to be a threat, like in Pakistan?

Anjum Naveed / AP

Mohamed Azakir / Reuters

Anjum Naveed / AP

Carlos Garcia Rawlins / Reuters

Afp / AFP / Getty Images

Hussein Malla / AP

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